In Response

I recieved an email yesterday that struck a chord. It wasn't particularly offensive or false, nor did it say anything that I haven't thought of myself. It was about something that everyone can identify with and has a strong opinion about. It is global. It is local. It has permeated our speech but nobody talks about it. Everyone has a solution but nothing is being done.

I'm talking about racism.

The email was from a white person's perspective talking about how they are the ones who are censored the most and thought to be the most racist at the same time. It says how unfair it is that white people aren't allowed to use certain language because it would be considered racist, but other races can get away with using the same language without social penalty.

I agree with this, and I agreed with the email. Of course my description is a lot less offensive than the email, but you get the jist of it. The reason I mention this at all (though I find it to be a continuing problem that not one singular person could fix) is because there IS a solution. The way to identify a solution is to figure out why the problem exists in the first place, and why it continues.

The problem has existed since man has been able to see color and use it as an excuse to separate each other. Then came slavery and human exploitation, and all that crap. Then religion was created to help man better cope with the terrors of life, and IT was exploited. Then like all aspects of life, these exploitations carried on through growing populations and took on new meanings as language and human standards evolved. Lots and lots of things happened, people were offended, and now we're all separated by race, sex, gender, political affiliation, border, occupation, social status, style, paycheck, taste, and name.

Because all this has happened, we have made it personal. We are angry. Our anger is so palpable we have issued laws trying to prevent us from feeling it. But it continues to boil inside of us because nothing is actually being done by being reminded of it every time we turn the corner. We are furthering the problem by not battling the real issues, and covering them up by issuing new laws.

We need change and we need it now.

The only way we can get passed this problem is the same way to get passed any problem: allow it to. We need to stop taking offense to absolutely everything and look at things a little more objectively. The problem is not that we are all racist, it's that we use racist language and talk about how offensive it is. Because language itself is subjective (personal), we take offense to the simplest of phrases without thinking what was actually meant. We're looking for it and finding it everywhere.

What if we stop looking?
What if we start looking passed it and stop taking offense?
Learn, grow, and become better people because of it.

It's like being a little sister. I wasn't cool enough to hang out with my older brothers and their friends because I was their little sister. They would call me names to prove to their friends that they had control over me, and they knew they had control over me because it kept me away. I didn't want to be around them if they were just going to call me names. They knew it worked and continued to do it because it worked. But they were my brothers, and there was nothing in the world that was going to change it. There was also nothing in the world that was going to keep me from wanting to hang out with them. My solution? I rose above the ridicule. I showed them that calling me names wasn't going to keep me away from them, and I stopped taking offense to "hollis" and "horsely" and "that's just my dumb little sister." When I stopped taking offense to the words they were using, they realized they didn't have the same control over me, so they stopped using the language. Today we are the best of friends and I owe it to the fact that we were able to get passed the petty name-calling. Of course they still tease me by calling me "hollis" sometimes, but I know they love me and it is all in good humor.

The way to get passed racist language is to stop using it. It only exists because people keep using it. In a perfect world, I could say "stop using racist language" and people would. If everyone in the world right now stopped using racist language for the rest of their lives, their children would not even know it existed in the first place. Of course it will always exist because there are too many publications citing such language, and I would only hope my children cracked a book once in a while. So it's obviously impossible to eradicate such offensive language, but it's not impossible to stop using it.

We would need to stop using it together, all across the world, at the same time.

But it will never happen because there will always be rapists, there will always be murder and guns, there will always be violence against someone, there will always be an opposing side to good, and there will always be offensive language.

I just choose not to use it.

How about you?

OPEN YOUR EYES

do you care about your life?

do you have about two hours?

watch this.

To the Auto Manufacturers

Dear GM, Toyota, Honda, and the others:

From a professional perspective, I feel terrible for you. You're losing lots of money, employees and clients, and that's never good for business. Considering our entire country (and the rest of the world) relies on transporation and you likely supply 90% of it, everyone else is also struggling. So we're in this together.

From a personal perspective, I probably couldn't be laughing harder. The only reason I am laughing and not empathizing is because your problems are the result of quick expansion and risky behavior, both of which are subjects covered in high school economics. I'm glad you have managed to supply the world with good transportation for so many years and have kept up with times of innovation and prosperity. You have obviously done something right because you've survived for so long. But the markets are falling, you are freaking out, and I'm laughing because of it.

One thing you neglected to look into is the fact that people change and so do their tastes. Did you really think that the internal combustion engine was going to be as popular in 2008 as it was in 1920? Numbers would of course trump my statement and it could easily be proven that yes, the demand for cars today does not even compare to demand back in the 20s. But we didn't know any better back then; we were just as clueless as you were. The only difference is that we have changed and you have not, and now the market is doing its job perfectly.

Here's what I'm wondering: Through all your financial planning, all of your market research, all of the years you've spent in such a lucrative business, how did you not expect a shift in the market? Why did you continue to push the same product every year (regardless of new models) and not prepare for a decline in sales? Especially in the last couple years as this whole "green" thing has taken hold of every other market?!

The transportation industry needs an overhaul, and you are trying everything in your power to prevent one. You have such an opportunity to turn everything around and start making millions again, but you have to succumb to a transitioning marketplace first. Toyota has started with the Prius, and they're making a killing right now. Unfortunately for them, though, hybrids will also be something of the past very shortly as the awareness of the global dependence on crude oil has shifted the consumer's demand for alternative and sustainable energies. I realize that you are only one part of this whole economy mess and there are other things to worry about, but NONE of the economy would operate without the transportation of goods. So you see we are in quite over our heads here, and we have been for entirely too long.

There's a great department that I recommend you use, and it's called Research and Development. It's not hard, and really just takes some creativity and thinking. Why not take some of your existing factory employees and offer them some time within the R&D department? Yes yes, I realize that there are trained professional within your R&D department that would just be getting their toes stepped on, but they'll be fired sooner than later if you don't get some more heads in there. See what the common-man has to say. Interview people. What do WE want? Think of OUR interests and not just those of your wallets and pocketbooks. Be willing to lose money before you gain it again. Stop trying to push a new model every year by remaking (that's right) the models that you know already work. But what about your quotas? Don't set them. Hold some money in your banks-- enough that will cover the cost of a mistake or decline in sales. It's something called 'surplus'-- also something learned in high school economics. If you have money, it's called surplus; if you don't, it's called debt. Keep trying to work within your debt and you'll end up in more debt. And if you get bailed out, someone else will be in debt. Cover your bills. Do some R&D. Get existing employees to have job diversity by offering other positions. Play around with things and most of all, have fun.

We NEED cars. But we also need you to be smart so that we don't fall with you.

Sincerely,
your average consumer who gives a damn.

Same Old Song and Dance

I'm going to regret feeling like this when I'm 40, but what can I possibly do? I suppose I could let go of my past feelings and allow for some wounds to heal, but it's just so complicated.

I have posted before about my rocky relationship with my dad and as expected, it still continues.

He called me Tuesday night asking if I would like to have dinner with him last night (Wednesday), and I agreed. I mean, I never see the guy and the least I could do is visit my own father. After all, he lives only 25 minutes away and he's the only family I have here anymore besides his sisters, both of whom I don't see very often. Plus, I feel bad sometimes that we spend every Sunday evening with Joey's parents and I never make the effort to see my own. But the reason I delay our time together is because of exactly what happened last night: We argued.

I don't know what it is about him that just boils my blood sometimes, but he really likes to put me on the spot. I know I am in control of every feeling I have, but it makes me feel inadequate and dumb. Of course it is never his intention to make me feel bad, but he inevitably pushes all the wrong buttons. I really think it's his approach at trying to talk to me; he doesn't know how else to do it. He assumes too much and puts words in my mouth, and he talks to me like I don't know any better. I'm thirteen again, and I want to run away. Luckily for me, I'm not thirteen and can go to my own home.

I will say one thing and he will hear another. Sometimes I think I'm asking for it by the way I preface things, but I told him that everything around where I grew up was fake. Before I was even able to explain what I meant, he jumped on the opportunity to say "I wish I would have known that's how you felt or I wouldn't have wasted my time" in that childish, pouty tone that I've grown to hate more than anything he has ever said or done to me in my entire life. I had to stop him with an exaggerated "WHAT?!" Then he said "You just said your childhood was a waste of time! If I would have known that before maybe I wouldn't have wasted my own time!" I don't know where he heard me refer to my childhood as a waste of time, but I had to yell at him. And by the way-- we were at LaRosa's during this whole thing. I felt bad for our server because I bet she was hesitant to check up on us... She was nice though, and even if she did hesitate it didn't show in her performance. But I had to stick my finger in his face and yell at him to STOP ASSUMING THINGS! And he didn't even know what I was referring to! I had to tell him what he just said to me and how it was a complete misinterpretation of what I said. I told him to just listen for a minute and allow me to explain what I meant. And of course he still didn't really understand what I was saying and took offense to it, even after reassuring him time and time again that my own personal childhood was great and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

What I meant by "everything around my childhood was fake" was in a societal sense. For example, you drive down the road my dad lives on and see all these beautiful homes with big families and walking dogs and kids running around and happy and la la la hunky-dory funtime. All of that looks good, but on the inside of those homes people are struggling. They're arguing. They're cheating. They're hitting their kids and yelling at them. They're hungry or starving. They're in debt. But the lawn looks good and there's a Corvette in the garage! They're part of a larger societal problem that won't go away unless recognized BY said society. I told him that the stuff on the outside doesn't matter, that it's fake, and I was raised in it. Then he said (and here's another great example of his habit to assume) "Is this because your mom and I argued at home?" NO! no no no no. That's NOT what I said. What I DID say, and I even wrote it here, is that I personally had a great childhood and wouldn't trade it for the world! But the world that I grew up in is fake, and I will not allow myself to follow in that same path. Everyone tries to cover up their inner demons by primping and strutting their stuff, but stuff does not define who you are, and I don't want to be recognized by the things I own. Appearing pretty does not make you pretty, and I will not lie to myself. And I will not fluff my language to make my dad understand. I am brutally honest and sometimes harsh, but I usually mean what I say the first time I say it. And every argument is warranted, so I'm not just making stuff up to get attention.

He also has a hard time accepting the fact that I will not likely carry on whatever "family traditions" he assumes I will take part in. He told me he wants my boyfriend to follow the tradition of laying out his intentions with me. He said (and I quote) "He needs to grow some balls and come talk to me if he intends to spend his future with you." First of all, how am I to influence this interaction? I said "What, am I supposed to say 'hey Joey- grow a pair and talk to my dad about me'?" I yelled at him again. How is Joey to know of my "family traditions" when A) they aren't exactly apparent at our every-now-and-then family get-togethers, and B) they don't exist at all! And another thing, after knowing me for so long why would he assume that I would continue ANY tradition when I've tried so hard to steer away from all of them? And how is his anger warranted if I say I don't want to carry a tradition? Another thing, how does my dad know that Joey doesn't have his own traditions he wants to carry on? I just kinda think it's selfish to expect something from someone if they don't even know to give anything.

Ugh. I guess that's enough for today.

Gross AND Gross

Have you ever had a back pimple?

In case you haven't, let me tell you about the one I found staring back at me this morning... This would be the time to go up to your browser and type in whatever link you choose-- anything is probably better than the story of a back pimple.

So I woke up at my usual time of butt-crack early this morning and hit the porceline goddess. I went to get dressed and put my bra on only to be surprised by a sharp pain where my right strap should lie above my right shoulder blade. Uh-oh.. a pimple. I went back to the bathroom to check out the situation and there, staring straight back at me, was a pinhead-sized eyeball tearing apart my ego. Luckily, It was just within reach and I was able to assess the situation pretty quickly.

I could have let it grow and drew a face on it to give it hypnotic powers like Postulio from Invader Zim, but I would be too afraid I'd end up that one chick with a giant pimple on her back never able to show her face in public again. That would just be debilitating, not to mention enTIRELY too embarassing, even for me.

It all reminds me of an old friend who happened to hit puberty a little too early, especially since she went to a private school. She was a C-cup by the time she was 13, and already had a couple pregnancy scares. I remember looking at her with such admiration for a while because she was a year older and to me, she seemingly knew EVERYTHING it was to be a teenage female. She smoked cigarettes, had a black boyfriend (which was almost unheard of in my white-suburban neighborhood) named Winston (guess what kind of cigarettes she smoked?), she had big knockers, and she was already having sex. But she ALSO had a TON of back pimples for some reason, so I wasn't THAT jealous of her. It was a good thing my parents instilled good values upon me because I never really felt too compelled to follow her actions. Somehow, and I don't know how they did it, but my parents raised me to learn from other peoples' mistakes. I think it was because my oldest brother took the reigns as the "bad" child and you can't have more than one in a family-- it's too much competition.

But I remember going to the pool with this girl and my other best friend, and she would always bitch about her back pimples. She had a little brother who she liked to harass, and she would make him pop them for her! She would torment that kid so much.. I swear he ended up with mental issues because of her. She would yell at him to do her bidding all the time and would make him cry and I always felt really bad for him, even if he was kind-of a dimwit anyway. He farted on her bed one time and she yelled at him to lick it up! And he did it with tears filling his eyes.. I wonder what happened to that kid... man what torture.

That family was so messed up anyways. The parents smoked something like 5 packs of cigarettes a day. The dad reminded me of Eric Clapton, and the step-mom was just awful-scary. You always knew which cigarette butts were hers because she always wore bright pink or red lipstick. They had gigantic parrots and a hoard of dogs and cats. There were also 6 kids in that house ranging from 2-15, four of which were adopted. Three of them were from an inner-family situation where they assummed custody, and the other one was just a normal adoption. But the normally adopted child was a nightmare.. first of all, I don't know to this day if they ever told her she was adopted. Everyone else in the family knew except for her. Second, the last time I saw her was about a year or two ago walking down the street of the neighborhood (I actually think they have moved since then) wearing some skanky outfit with high-heels and Mimi make-up. Glad she grew up just like her older sister... Let's hope she has some sense and pops her own damn back pimples.

Gross.

Letter to my Landlord: The Results

Holly,

Please except my apologies for the burglary of your vehicle. I praise your choice on contacting the police department. Hopefully the more information they can get will allow them to catch this guy as soon as possible. I do understand your frustration regarding the late fees and I will be the first to admit that they are very strict. Unfortunately there is a reason behind the "no grace period". Unlike most communities we are owned by an individual not a big corporation. This means his mortgage is due on the 5th of the month and he uses all the rent received to pay it. The good news is there are other options. I have a form you can fill out in the office for your debit card to be automatically debited on the 1st of the month. Which means if the office is closed on the 1st I will deduct it upon our return. We also offer direct payment out of your checking account. If you set up for this option they do not deduct it until the 3rd of each month. One of the advantages of the debit withdraw is if you run into financial hardship one month, all you have to do is give me a call and ask for me not to deduct it on the first. Of coarse you would still be responsible for late fees but its a little easier that having to call the bank and temporarily freeze an automatic withdrawal. I would like to apologize again about your vehicle and let you know about the other payment options you have with us. In light of your recent problems and outstanding payment history, we have recieved approval to remove the $50 late fee on your account. Please understand that we will be unable to do so in the future for any additional late payments. I know that this does not eliminate your concerns but hopefully it will help restore some of your faith in us.

Respectfully,
[lady in the office]

I won! I won and it felt good. Also, this morning as I was leaving for work, I noticed two township police units monitoring my apartment complex. I not only won, but I also got the strength of the LAW on my side! I'm not a huge cop fan, but I do really enjoy when they work to my benefit.

On another note, I'm feeling the strength of my current anxieties and it's effecting my sleep. I'm having trouble getting to sleep and staying asleep. I think my body is ready to start moving again and I would like to start working out a couple times a week. I just have all this time to myself and I just keep allowing my head to fill with thoughts instead of letting them out. I'm pent up in Ohio and need to branch out immediately. I think I know exactly how Sam felt right before he went to New York for the first time. He just felt trapped, like there was nowhere else to go if he stayed here. When he came back a couple weeks ago from California, he said he was immediately depressed just because of the atmosphere. He missed his new home already and he had only been there about a month or so. Bottom line, I feel like I'm crawling out of my skin. I need to get out, and I need to get out promptly.

I just need to find a job somewhere, and so does Joey. Until Friday, I was waiting for Joey to land a job first but his dad convinced me otherwise. He said "why wait for Joe? You go where the job goes. If you find a job, you go there. If Joe finds a job, go there. That's what you gotta do." And he's right. Of all the times he has said "you gotta do this," he was absolutely right about this one. So in following his advice, I'm going to start looking for jobs elsewhere. If I stay here in Ohio, my market is limited. Not only is unemployment in Ohio terrible right now (which is a large contributing factor as to why Joey can't land a job), but the market is split into corporate radio or nothing. I WILL NOT work for Clear Channel for a couple reasons (they ruined radio, basically), and they're located in every major city. So I know any place I go will be mostly dominated by Clear Channel, but in wider markets I will be able to find more profitable, independent radio stations. Or I could stay with Cox, because I do have to say that they are a great company to work for. Yes, they're also a huge corporate company, but I don't think you can really ruin radio if most of your stations air political newstalk material. Biased hosts come and go, and Cox is willing to adjust to that. Clear Channel is not. I also thought of applying for a public access channel. I'm always a fan of non-profits.

Another reason I need to leave this place is because I'm so sick of the inactivity of this state. If you want to have fun in Ohio, you have to unbury it because your choices are the mall, a generic restaurant, and television. Yes, there are bars and clubs and such, but I'm not too into that kind of crowd. I don't like seeing over-primped drunk bitches and their equally drunk single male counter-parts mingling with each other.. it's just a mess. I get embarassed for characters in movies; it kills me to see it in real life. Plus it's expensive to have fun at a bar, and it's impossible to have fun at a bar if you're not drunk. Unless you like sports. But people drink to enhance their sports-watching, so even that's out. I just want a yard that I can sit out in and sip my lemonade during the day, and watch the stars at night. I know I can do that now on my back patio, but there's this giant flood light that I have no control over that seriously makes it feel like the apocolypse outside. So we don't sit out there... needless to say, we don't have to turn our porch light on.

Off to more things..

peace and stir crazy

Tribute to George Carlin

We just got George Carlin: Jammin' in New York on Netflix. It was in our queue, and he just happened to also die a couple days ago. Weird coincidences.

We just got finished watching it and MAN that guy was funny.. it was a good start to my day. I share many of his same views and really think he had a big influence on more people than the media would be willing to look into. I really enjoy life-affirming anecdotes... so here I share my favorite from his Jammin' in New York HBO Special.

[I couldn't embed the video because the person who posted the video pulled the embed code.]

Semantics anyone?

Ok Ok.. so the Supreme Court ruled today (yes, june 26, 2008-- over 200 years after the constitution was written, just so we're on the same page here) that individuals are allowed to have a gun as means of protection in their home. Let me say it again:

The Supreme Court ruled today (yes, june 26, 2008-- over 200 years after the constitution was written, just so we're on the same page here) that individuals are allowed to have a gun as means of protection in their home.

Anyone?

Ridiculous.

Here's the article.

Another Piece of the Puzzle

Just found this article about a fossil that may play an integral role in figuring out how fish became land-dwellers. It's not that entertaining, just interesting.

So I've thought about evolution and what that means for human beings as they exist today. I have a prediction for the future of mankind, and it's not seemingly impossible. So, we've been on the planet for what, a couple thousand years? And considering our current calculations of how long it takes for evolution to take place in one species, we have yet to see it occur before our own eyes. We have evidence of it and can draw conclusions from our findings, but the only way of reaching a global understanding of it would be to see it happen to our own species.

We are smart. We are VERY smart. But we don't know what to do with our intelligence. Yes, we've made great advances as far as technology goes, but all we've proven thus far is how much money we can make and what that means in terms of status. Basically, we've proven how awesome we are. Woopty-frickin-doo. We are currently in an age of transition, which makes sense when looking at the grand scheme of things. We are searching for sustainable energy sources to ween ourselves off the use of oil. We have networked the entire planet, allowing us to communicate with anyone, anywhere, whenever we want. We're able to foresee weather patterns, economic patterns, and social patterns. This is great and all, but the only thing we do with this information is make money and move it around.

I see us moving towards a more advanced society in the next couple hundred years. And not just advanced in technology, but intellectually. I see the next step in human evolution taking us towards a more SUPER human state, but not in the way you would think. When we think "super-human," we think of -well- Superman and other such fictional comic book characters. I see humans realizing what real conservativism is and how is really doesn't relate to any political agenda. We will understand how to use the movement of markets to benefit EVERYONE (including the planet) and not just the choice numb-nuts running those markets. The super-humans will look at us humans NOW and we will appear hedonistic, selfish, wasteful, paranoid, and just plain ignorant. Oh isn't that funny- we humans today think species before us are ignorant because they don't have free-will! But that's evolution.. I bet insects mocked single-celled organisms for centuries.

I think most of the planet will not believe in a higher power as more evidence of evolution is found and larger spans of the universe are explored. Religion will be something of the past but will be talked about and studied as a primitive system of thought. It will not be cast off as a waste of time, but will be looked at as a stepping stone to the intricate understandings of life. It will be looked at as a means of coping with life as it inevitably leads to death, and as means of motivating large communities to be genuinely good. But the people of the future WILL be genuinely good without the need of collective spiritual thought. They will be able to measure their impact on the planet and the impact their actions have on other people, allowing them to adjust their behaviors in a way that help the greater good. People will be more globally conscious and won't get caught up on every-day semantics that prevent us from progressing and just lead to conflict. We will learn how to work with nature and not against it. We will be primarily vegetarian because we will realize how harmful the every-day consumption of meat is on our digestive systems. People will also realize how hypocritical it is to save a deer from the ocean only to turn around and stuff their face with a hamburger from the local food chain.

I predict that large food scares will also drive the markets towards locally raised food. Notice how many recalls we've had in the last couple years? NONE of them effected the organic food supply because there are strict regulations placed on organic farmers/producers that really prevent the common occurence of human error and carelessness (which I believe is why we have had so many salmonella outbreaks in the commercial food supply). By owning the organic label, food producers are forced to actually LOOK (no way) at what goes out into the supermarkets, otherwise they face a severe penalty and have to pay a large fine. THAT is food regulation at its finest and people of the future will embrace it.

The Mayan calendar ends in 2012, which many believe will be the end of the world. I don't think ANYONE can predict that, and my boyfriend and I believe 2012 was the end of their calendar because that's the day they ran out of tools. But regardless of whether we will be wiped off the face of the planet in five years or not, we will be moving towards a more advanced society and will likely flourish until we wipe ourselves out, whether it be from pollution or mass plague. The sociologists who built the foundation of modern sociology predicted these same things, that we are currently in a mode of mass transition and will likely continue for the next couple centuries. All we can do today is make sure tomorrow is brighter so our great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandchildren can look back and say "thanks."

Letter to my Landlord

Hey Natalynne--

So now MY car has been broken into (I already went to the Miami Township police and filed a report). They stole all of my CDs, which were probably worth a couple hundred dollars, and luckily nothing else because I cleaned my car out the other day. I think there is either someone living in the complex out to rob the rest of your tenants, or there is an unending flow of pedestrians just wandering the place with nothing better to do than commit petty theft. Either way, I'm left uneasy and unsure of how to interpret the safety of the area.

Now, I'm not one to complain about little issues because they tend to have little to no importance in the grand scheme of things, plus, if I did report all issues, I would not be taken seriously and seen as overreacting. I also don't report all issues because I like to give the benefit of the doubt. But when those issues outweigh my concern, I believe it's time to mention them. Back in January, we were one day late on our rent because of an assumption that the office would be closed on the first (due to it being a national holiday). Well, we were obviously wrong and had to pay the late fee, in which we were completely willing because it was our mistake in making that assumption. We're always willing to admit that we are wrong. Last month, though, I feel that we were ripped off. I always abide by the rules by paying all my bills on time and don't gripe if I do have to pay a late fee, but this is the first time I feel I was served an injustice. I understand the rules laid out in the lease and don't expect to be treated differently from any other tenant, and I also respect your role as enforcer of those rules. My position is this-- the first fell on a Sunday last month, and unsure of whether anyone would be there, my boyfriend and I walked down to the office with our rent check in-hand. Well, being closed on Sunday, nobody was there. We looked around for the drop-box and could not find it, and we were not about to just leave the check there in good faith that it would be received the next day. Of course we could not call the office or email anyone for answers, so we went back home with the check hoping to explain the situation the next day and be relieved of the late fee. I was absolutely shocked the next day when I had to pay the fee because I didn't feel it was my fault for not seeing or knowing about the drop box. If I had known there was a drop box, or that the slit in the wall behind the pillar was the drop box, there would be no issue. When the drop-box was pointed out to me after this whole ordeal, I realized that it looks like an un-used mail slot that leads to nothing but a hole in the wall. Yes, I was told it was written in the lease, but there is no label on it, and I'm sure the few people who were not told about it upon signing would make the same mistake as we did.

I'm not looking to pick a fight or demand something I'm not entitled to, but I'm beginning to develop a negative opinion about where I'm living. I'm sure the rules are enforced as strictly as they are because of the area we're located, but I believe that genuinely good tenants deserve (heaven forbid) one day of leniency. I wish for you guys to consider re-writing that part of the lease, allowing tenants just one day during their entire leasing agreement to be obsolved of a late fee, all in good faith that they will pay on time every other time (in other words, if rent is due on the first of every month, I should be allowed to be late only once during my 12-month leasing agreement, allowing me to pay on the second wihout the fee. If I am late on the first any other time, I should be required to pay.) The only reason I propose this to you is because I think it is a mistake to completely dismiss the event of human error. Never once have I been penalized for being only one day late on rent, and it has NEVER been more than a $25 fee for even the second day late. I know you personally did not write the rules and you are only doing your job, but your boss should know that his rules are a bit ridiculous, especially considering the age of the complex and the neighborhood it is located in (I work at a news station.. I know what goes on around here). And if it is argued that this really is a nice place to live, then why do I have to fear for the safety of my vehicle in a private parking lot?

I don't want to harm your reputation by leaving with a negative attitude, as I believe you do offer very superb services. Your maintenance guys have always come within a day of the initial call, and you girls in the office are always incredibly nice and helpful. I just think some of the stricter policies should be reconsidered to allow for happier tenants and a better company. Thanks for taking the time to read this, and I hope you mention it to the owner.

Confessions of a College Graduate

As expected, I was bombarded with a myriad of questions asking about my future. And here I am to answer all of them!

No, I don't know what I'm doing now that I'm out of school.

No, I don't know where I want to be in five years-- either still in radio, or running my own game store/cafe.

Yes, I will keep working at my current job, and I have yet to explore my options as far as radio stations go.

No, they can't offer me full-time here because it is not in their budget (so they say..) and Yes, that means I will have to pick up more hours and probably move on in November if they still haven't offered it to me.

I don't know what else I want to do, and I don't have any plans for this summer.

I have considered the option of moving out of state-- but I'm not sure which state. California maybe.. Arizona.. NC.. Kentucky.. Illinois..


As far as long-term goals, I DO know what I want to do by the end of my lifetime (and by no means in this order):

-Run my own radio station
-Build my own house, all with recycled/sustainable materials powered with wind/solar/water energy.
-Buy a building and run my own game store/hooka cafe
-Buy a motorcycle (or scooter) for local travel
-Grow/raise as much of my own food as possible
-Build a recording studio in my basement (after I build my house)
-Build a solar-powered vehicle

All I want to do right now is be lazy and sleep all day. I have no goals in mind, and I'm OKAY with that. I've spent the last eighteen years in a social institution and I think I owe it to myself to relax and rid my mind/body of all anxiety. I may start meditating, and I definitely want to sell a bunch of my crap. I need to do a garage sale... and clean out my car. I have too much junk, and I think it's time to do some personal cleansing. I want to start working out again and see if it's actually possible to get this adult body into a size 9. I'll probably be cutting the dreadlocks off soon, because it is hot outside and they drive me nuts. A trip out to Hollywood to visit Sammy should happen this summer, and possibly on the way I should visit Adam in Chicago.

It is a time of personal exploration, and I plan to have as much fun as I possibly can. I want to go to the Hoffbrauhaus down in Newport tonight.. hopefully we can get a crew together.. that would be fun.

food and on to the other studio for another 4 hours of mundane newstalk nonsense.

Hooray for Child Obesity

I found this article on Digg talking about childhood obesity and how the rates are enormous these days. The article says that there is actually some hope.. the numbers have plateaued, which is good but it's not great. It's good because that means rates have not risen for the first time since this whole epidemic has come to be. It's not great though, because it means rates haven't fallen, and that's what we want to happen.

I don't really want to talk more about child obesity, as it's not exactly a happy-time conversation, but I have one opposition to what they had to say in the article.

"And perhaps most important, teachers, mentors and public role models are fighting it as they help kids navigate a culture that fosters fat but idealizes thin and as they teach them that what truly counts is getting themselves as fit as their body type and genes allow—and then loving that body no matter what."

Don't we already idealize a thin culture? I mean, you don't see people picking up magazines plastered with fatties in bakinis. You don't see anything but beautiful, thin, and sometimes half plastic. Aren't these images purely idealistic? Don't hundreds of thousands of teenage-girls force themselves to become bulemic/anorexic because of these idealistic images? Not to mention, everything revolves around "appearing" pretty and thin.. I just find it completely back-assward to promote ideal thinness when it has been promoted since Hugh Heffner made his first Playboy. We shouldn't promote the specific image of "thin," rather we should promote a lifestayle that is healthy. If you are healthy, you are going to be thin as a result. You may not be skinny, per se, but you will be thin. You may not have bulging muscles and abs you could grate cheese on, but you will be lean and healthy.

I think this is another example of how the human mentality works.. We only pay attention to the extreme sides of the spectrum and believe that if something isn't this way, it HAS to be that way. But I understand how hard it is to live completely in the middle of the spectrum, because then you would be impartial to all things and that's just boring. As far as this whole obesity thing goes, we think that since 70% of Americans are fat, we have to reverse everything to make everyone thin. Here, our continuum is:

FAT<-------------------->SKINNY

We either have to be fat, or we have to be skinny. It's never good enough for us to be slightly pudgy, or just in the middle. "We're fat? Oh Let's be skinny!" No, let's get healthy first. Healthy is not just a good report from your doctor, it's a lifestyle you need to maintain. And it's not something that can be issued overnight. You have to work at it and not subscribe to these lousy hollywood diets. Know that it takes 15-20 minutes for your stomach to tell your brain when you're full, so eat slower. Put down the fork between bites. Eat with someone else so you can talk and delay your next bite. Just changing your over-all eating behavior can make a huge difference. And if you want to lose a certain amount of weight, be realistic. Don't say you're going to lose 20lbs in a week because that's just not realistic. Smaller goals are much easier and a lot healthier for your body and mind.

Hollistic healing/medicine is also a great way to become healthier. It forces you to stay in-tune with your body's health. When something hurts or just doesn't feel right, take that as a sign to do something about it. You know that you won't go to the doctor for a sore throat until your voice is gone and you can barely talk, but it could have been prevented. Don't ignore your symptoms, or you'll be spending a lot more on medical bills than you ever wanted to. That is what herbal supplements are for. Getting sick? take a Vitamin-C pill in the morning when you wake up, and before you go to be. Each pill has about 1000% the daily recommended value, so one is really enough. But you want to kick your immune system into high-gear to flush out this cold, so trust me-- it works. Also-- drink lots of echinacea tea with honey, because echinacea is good for immunity support, and honey has been proven to cure basic cold/flu symptoms better than over-the-counter drugs. Get plenty of sleep and if you smoke, just give it up for a couple days. If you drink, just give it up for a couple days. Take care of yourself. Your frivolities will be there right when you pick them back up.

peace and healthy living

POTencies rise; speculation stay the same

Alright. I'm all for researching the effects of pot on people, and I'm all for having our tax dollars be spent on these studies. What I'm NOT for, on the other hand, is going ahead with these studies knowing the results will likely reflect those of the past.

This study from the UK found that the potency of marijuana has doubled since the mid-80s, and from 8.6% to 9.7% in the last couple years. They found all this out, but they STILL have no conclusive evidence that pot is worse for you than your run-of-the-mill stimulants (caffeine, nicotene)!

But there's no data showing that a higher potency in marijuana leads to more addiction, Earleywine said, and marijuana's withdrawal symptoms are mild at best. "Mild irritability, craving for marijuana and decreased appetite — I mean those are laughable when you talk about withdrawal from a drug. Caffeine is worse."

Let's look at that last line again-- "those are laughable when you talk about withdrawl from a drug. Caffiene is worse." RESEARCHERS say caffiene is worse, yet, Starbucks is allowed to capitalize on our addiction. Of course, Starbucks is the least of our worries on a global perspective, but it's just not fair!

How can the government make pot illegal, yet carry out illegal procedures themselves every single day?! The only reason this pisses me off is because as long as pot is illegal, our prisons will continue to be overpopulated with non-violent "criminals." As soon as a nonviolent criminal is placed behind bars, s/he carries the same social status as violent offenders, such as murderers, rapists, and thieves. To say that social status doesn't matter would be ignorant, as we all know how influential society can be. So when a non-violent offender is now labeled a violent offender, they are more likely to commit violent crimes. Hence- a raise in crimes and the perpetuation of an unethical, illogical system.

And as long as it's illegal, good people have to keep sneaking around like they're criminals.

Phooey.

I am smarter than you!

No, I only jest. But a British study is making no joke, as it revealed people with higher IQs are less likely to believe in "God"!

"Professor Richard Lynn said most primary school children believed in God, but as they entered adolescence - and their intelligence increased - many started to have doubts."

As far as I can remember, I always had doubts. I was raised Catholic, which means we were the typical C&E (Christmas & Easter) church-goers. But of course, my parents wanted us to be raised with a well-rounded faith, so they tried to drag us to church more than just twice a year. Not only did I express my unwillingness to go when I was young (just like every other kid who is dragged into a building wreaking of nostril-burning perfume and cheap alcohol), but I also never felt right sitting in the pews, asking some invisible sky-man to forgive me of the sins I had yet to commit! Also, this "god" was a stranger to me (as s/he is to all others because has ANYONE REALLY met god?), and it was confusing to be told to go TOWARDS this stranger when I was told to stay away from all other strangers. When you're a kid, a stranger is a stranger and you don't exactly have the cognitive ability to distinguish between a "good" and "bad" stranger. The whole experience just did not "speak" to me the way my parents said it would, and I just could never get a firm grasp on the concept of a higher power. If s/he's SOO powerful and all-knowing, why has s/he not made an earthly appearance?

Therein lies faith: what is faith? Does faith have to be associated with the devine? Because I definitely have faith, just not in an invisible sky-god. I have faith in people- that they will do what their brains tell them for no other reason than to follow their own convictions. I have faith in my family- that they will always come through for me if I need them and love me for who I am for as long as I am. I have faith in my boyfriend- that he will treat me with respect, and love and support me until given a reason not to. I have faith that good things come to those who wait. And I have faith that people will follow their own path, and not give in to social propoganda and harmful facades.

"Professor Lynn, who has provoked controversy in the past with research linking intelligence to race and sex, said university academics were less likely to believe in God than almost anyone else."

I'm graduating from college on Saturday. You can put that puzzle together.

Bill Maher is Religulous

I'm a big fan of social opposition, especially when it concerns views of religion. I ESPECIALLY love when well-known people (Bill Maher) make a point of bringing people out of their comfort zone and debunk real phenomena.

The Advocacy of Health Food

I love food. I love all kinds of food, and I am not one to pass up a great food opportunity. But in making my own choices and developing my own tastes, I have transformed my entire food mentality.

I was raised on home-cooked meals and I continue to cook at home today. It was rare for us to splurge on take-out, and we actually made a family ordeal out of cooking dinner and doing the dishes. There were five of us, so we each took a night of the week and cooked for the rest of the family. I remember the first time my night came to cook, and my brothers will not let me forget it. I thought it would be a great idea to take these hard, little breadsticks and melt cheese over them. Little to my knowledge at the time, breadsticks are not a meal by any means-- especially for a family of five. ESPECIALLY the kind of breadsticks that these were.. they came in a huge plastic bag and they were almost meant to be used as a crunchy salad addition. So basically, croutons for dinner. I was (still am) much of an inventor of sorts, and would always have a vision in my head to work towards, even in the kitchen. I have NO IDEA the vision I had in mind that night, all I know is that we ended up not having breadsticks for dinner. And BTW- humor was common-place in the house, so this was one of many scenarios that we will not let each other forget.

While growing up, we never had many sweets in the house. We would have a pack of cookies here or there, or a half-gallon of ice-cream on the weekend. But desserts and overly sweet foods were not often seen in our house. When I began developing into the young woman I would eventually become, I also began to eat less healthy and less at home. I also gained weight and was like the many awkwardly developing teens with low self-esteem. I attribute a lot of my weight gain and non-food-sense to the addictive qualities of soda. It's soo tasty, yet, so unhealthy. But as the human tendency is to indulge oneself, I drank entirely too much pop. The moment I decided to drop some pounds was after seeing a picture of myself at my 8th grade graduation party. My brother had just graduated from high school and I was on my way IN to high school. We had a double celebration in the month of June and invited all of our friends and family. My mom baked cupcake-cakes for both of us, and I helped decorate the two cakes with various icings and sprinkles. The moment came when my mom wanted to take a picture of us holding our pretty cakes, so we sat on the couch and gave our best shit-eating grin that we could; I was gonna EAT that cake! The result: mom had the pictures developed and my thighs/arms were the only things I could see beyond the colorful cake the sat in my lap. I. WAS. A. FATTY. I vowed to lose weight, and I began exercising and cutting things out of my diet- most importantly, soda. I lost 30lbs in a couple months, and I've since then grown into my body and slimmed down to an acceptable size. I am by no means "skinny" but I am thin, squishy, flixible, and happy. I figure, as long as I'm flexible and squishy, my body is more able to adapt to the ever-changing environmental conditions.

Two years into college I dated this guy who had been around the block a couple dozen times and was also very knowledgable of vegetarian/vegan diets. He taught me about the dangers of hydrogenated oils and high-fructose corn syrup, and the benefits of eating foods with the fewest ingredients. I became an avid label reader and tried to avoid all foods with the bad oils and corn syrups, and tried to eat more foods with very basic ingredients. We lived together for about 8 months and I have to say that they were the most influential 8 months of my life. It transformed my entire mentality about the food industry, and I was able to draw linkages between the food market and societal issues, especially those related to human health. I swore off fast-food, soda, companies with monopolistic tendencies, giant restaurant chains, and commercial food.

I also learned the value of a dollar and what it means beyond having the ability to spend it. He said in a very profound statement, "you vote with your dollar." Well, he had to explain exactly what he meant and he was absolutely right. My dollar has the ability to tell one company that I support what they do, what they sell, where they're located, how they treat their customers/employees, and their over-all business in that particular economy. By giving one company my dollar, I am telling them that I agree with their moral practices and that they should continue to do what they do.

In learning the value of my hard-earned dollar, I began buying/eating organic and all-natural foods ONLY. I read up on organic agriculture and how its practices are largely monitored and kept in-check. The labels are even different, in that they try to sell the benefits of the product and not just the product itself. A misconception about organic food is that it lacks good flavor. There are SOME all-natural foods that I won't eat because they are very lax in the flavor department, but I would argue that the majority organic/all-natural foods taste better than commercial foods. It does take some time to get used to and a time of transition is to be expected. Like any diet, you can't just dive in and expect results the next day. You have to give yourself time to get used to the diet and knowing someone who has already gone through the transition helps a lot, too. Someone who has no idea about organic food will have a hard time finding things that taste really good. Of course, you have to do it by trial and error to see what real flavors you DO enjoy.

There is another group of foods that I avoid, and that's the reduced fat/low-cal/low-sodium/fat free foods. Just because the labels says it's "fat-free" doesn't mean they didn't put other chemicals in there to make it "fat-free." Here's a great article about these foods and the reasons they are actually very bad for your over-all health.

I could go on and on about proper health because it's a very important aspect of my life. And I think a lot of people avoid peoper health tips because they believe they have to make a major life-change. From my own experience, it has changed my life and has given me a more optimistic approach to my future. I'm 22 years old, and I eat healthier than 70% of Americans. Now, this is not to say I don't eat a LOT, because I do. That's just because organic food tastes SOO good.

Love, Bizarro

Alright, so I've come to love Dan Piraro's Bizarro comic and blog, and I would recommend it to anyone. It's humorous commentary on the phenomena of reality leaves you with a feeling of redemption and guilt, feelings comparable to a sunny day-off filled to the brim with love and candy bars. He and his crazy half-nekked wife live in an apartment in Brooklyn, NY.. feeding on plants and advocating the equal treatment of animals.. and his tasty little single-paneled stories are --simply put-- awesome. He's also athiest, so of course I'm gonna talk about like-minded people, and I really enjoy the fact that he sneaks his opinion into his works.

Like this one.
And this one.
And this new one.

I don't really have much else to say. I just wanted to give tribute to my current favorite cartoon artist.

It may still be too soon to be this sad

My kitty has been gone for over two days and I am worried and sad. I came home from work last night around 6:30 and cried until I went to bed at 11. Of course it wasn't literally the whole time, but needless to say, I was a mess. OVER A CAT! I kept shoving my face in my boyfriend's chest and made his t-shirt all spotty with tears. It was pathetic. I've never really been in this position before, and I can't even imagine where he would be.

That actually sparks something for me.. where do our pets go when we can't find them for a long time, and they come back all of a sudden happy as the day they left? I'd like to read some theories, so if you have any, please share.

I imagine Heffer sneaking off around the fence, humming the 007 theme song as he trots down the sewer to meet his buddies. I see him arriving in a setting similar to the one depicted in the picture of the dogs playing poker, except they're all cats. They're smoking cigars and drinking whiskey, bitching about how their owner forgot to feed them the day before and that's why they're hanging out there. They say they don't hold grudges, but I know they do.. cheeky bastards. And going off of this logic, Heffer is probably pissed at me for throwing him off the desk the other day and this is my punishment. And the only reason they return happy again is because they're all hopped up on that reefer! And they never share either.. greedy pieces of crap!

I told Joey that if Heffer doesn't come back, we're getting a puppy. Rachelle says there are some puggles across the hall from the hippie-stand, and I might just have to check them out! That's right CAT! If you've somehow evolved and are reading this, I'm already negotiating your replacement! HA! (please come back... I miss you..)

peace and sad day

Still Reading about the Economic Hitman

I posted a while ago about this book that I've been reading called "Confessions of an Economic Hitman" by John Perkins. The reason it has taken me so long to read it is because it's so very depressing and I can only take it in small doses. I would recommend it to anyone because it's written so truthfully and you really feel bad for Perkins throughout, but it's terrible the things he got paid to do. The depressing part is that he realized how terrible his actions were but continued doing them despite how many lives he probably destroyed in the process. And for what? Money. He has since been out of the business, but what makes the book ever-so shocking is how easily he was able to persue his tasks under direct command by the US government. I want to write an excerpt from the book... to share with you the dilemma he faced.

"Beyond my own personal dilemmas, my times in Colombia also helped me comprehend the distinction between the old American republic and the new global empire. The republic offered hope to the world. Its foundation was moral and philosophical rather than materialistic. It was based on concepts of equality and justice for all. But it also could be pragmatic, not merely a utopian dream but also a living, breathing, magnanimous entity. It could open its arms to shelter the downtrodden. It was an inspiration and at the same time a force to reckon with; if needed, it could swing into action, as it had during World War II, to defend the principles for which it stood. The very institutions- the big corporations, banks, and government bureaucracies- that threaten the republic could be used instead to institute fundamental changes in the world. Such institutions possess the communications networks and transporation systems necessary to end disease, starvation, and even wars- if only they could be conviced to take that course.

The global empire, on the other hand, is the republic's nemesis. It is self-centered, self-serving, greedy, and materialistic, a system based on mercantalism. Like empires before, its arms open only to accumulate resources, to grab everything in sight and stuff its insatiable maw. It will use whatever means it deems necessary to help its rulers gain more power and riches."

I've said before that I believe this country had great opportunity when Columbus discovered this land. It was immediately ruined when the Pilgrims came with their heads full of new freedoms and opportunity. They didn't think. They didn't know what we do now (duh) and they set a precedence. They spread new traditions and diseases. They created immediate inequality when they disbarred the "red man." Then they turned to the dust and played 'cowboys and indians' for a couple hundred years. Then they starting bringing African men and women over here because they heard they could turn more profit with slavery. It was all about the money then, and it continues to be about the money now. With the Africans came malaria and AIDS. It was about black-vs-white and red-vs-white. Then people started thinking and it resulted in the Civil War. Then it was red-vs-white, black-vs-white, and white-vs-white with the north against the south. Then there was the Underground Railroad when Harriet Tubman thought that her efforts would free runaway slaves from a life full of torture, hatred, distrust, and abuse. She didn't realize that the white-man would NEVER EVER EVER treat her people with the love, honesty, and loyalty that they truly deserved. Even to this day in March of 2008, well beyond the years we thought we would even exist, racism and discrimination run rampant, but now on a global scale. We are called "the land of plenty" where we can choose our own path and pick from the fruit of our nation's loins. We think about now, about instant satisfaction without thinking of the consequences. We discovered the use of oil and began tapping the earth only to suck it dry. People say there's plenty of it, but our planet is only so big and oil doesn't generate itself faster than we consume it. But we don't think about that. My aunt told me the other day, and this does not surprise me, that there is a "peak" oil level-- and we have gone passed the peak. This means we are on our way to running out. We assume that whatever hasn't already been taken is ours and ours only. We plant a flag and draw an imaginary line to CLAIM IN THE NAME OF ME.. not allowing anyone else to benefit unless they pay for it. Then we don't think about what effects our consumption has on the planet and each other. We don't CARE that Mother Earth created us and we're destroying it in a "thank-you" card.

We are going to kill ourselves off, you must realize. This is not a paranoid side effect of the copius amounts of smoke that I pot. It's the truth. One way or another, we will end our own existence. And for what? For a bigger paycheck.. for diamonds and jewels that made us happy for only the moment they were purchased.. for furs and glamour.. stretch Hummer 2's and i-Phones.. celebrity status and parties with Hef.. We think having nice cars, homes and clothes makes us "better" because that's what we see on TV. We buy buy BUY and don't know how to balance a checkbook. There's something wrong with that. I have a couple theories as to how we will cause our own extinction:

1. Robot Apocolypse: not in the sense that you may think where actual robots take over the world to spite their human creators. I mean in the sense that because we have come to rely so heavily on the use of computers, and other such technologies, that a mistake WILL happen somewhere and a glitch in the system will go unnoticed. We know how catastophic a tiny glitch can be, as it can cause mass hysteria-- a side-effect of human nature. Remember Y2K? Yea- didn't happen. But you know what did? millions of people started stocking food and water.. they came up with family plans as far as where to go and what to do. People started preparing for a small apocolypse, all because we WEREN'T SURE if computers would make the 2000 switch when the year turned at midnight. All it would take is what was depicted in "Fight Club" to tear down some corporations and eventually the millions of people who have their lives invested in them.

2. Environmental Catastrophe: If the first one doesn't happen, this one will be the next likely. If we continue doing what we have been doing without changing our behavior, we will run out of natural resources and turn the globe into a sizzling ball of radiation and sludge. Although I think it would take a long time for us to actually die off from these bahaviors because humans are the most adaptable animals in the entire kingdom, it will happen.. eventually. As we consume and consume and consume, we neglect our lands and refuse to replace what we've taken from them because the work is "too hard." It's easier to take than it is to give, and that's exactly what we're going to do until we either realize the consequences of these behaviors, or just run ourselves off the planet. We cut and burn down thousands of acres of trees and rainforest every day and use the lumber for buildings and businesses and furniture and back-yard playgrounds for our children. We even use natural resources to fuel the vehicles used to cut down the trees. So we're not only cutting down our source of oxygen, we're thickening the air with the exhaust that comes from the vehicles we use in order to cut the trees down. Not only that, but by cutting down trees, we're cutting down entire ecosystems. And we don't even empathize! How would we feel if aliens came down and took over the planet just because we were weaker and they could use our planet for their own bidding? We would HATE it! We would try whatever we could in order to fight them off and probably lose because if they had resources to get to our planet, I'm sure they would have enough to destroy it.

3. the fall of Global Empire: ALL EMPIRES HAVE FAILED. We're already on our way to this status as the US tries to police everyone else. With the 5 powers of the world, we will likely unite.. rape and pillage.. and fall together. How nice. There are talks of an international ID card and currency. The Euro is already used in Europe, and the US is on the way of producing the Amero in order to unite Canada, the US, and Mexico. And then there are talks of a computer chip being inserted in our children as soon as next year. Like I said- ALL EMPIRES HAVE FAILED and we are no smarter or different. We're smarter as far as technologies go, but we still exhibit human behavior with instincts to compete and win.

WE CANNOT BE NAIIVE TO OUR OWN BEHAVIORS AND THINK EVERYTHING WILL BE OK.

THINGS WILL CATCH UP, AND WE WILL LOSE. Sad, but true.

peace and hope

Easter Sunday

This is definitely one of those days where being athiest isn't worth mentioning. I'm almost mad that I still have to celebrate this Christian holiday with my family and boyfriend's family, and I only celebrate it out of respect for those that I care about. Shouldn't it then be considered disrespectful on the part of my family because they don't acknowledge my LACK of faith? Of course, not everyone in my family is aware that I've denounced my religion, and it's not exactly something to brag about, as it is rarely taken as a light subject.

My dad made a big deal about seeing me today, and got upset that I didn't treat the day as he would. Last week, he said we had reservations at some restaurant at 2pm and a bunch of my other family members would be there too to celebrate Easter. First of all, this makes me mad because although he may have considered my beliefs before asking me to join them, he would have gotten mad if I rejected the offer. So I told him that since I got off work at 1pm, I would be able to make it down there to join them at 2. Fine. Now, my own beliefs tell me to respect every individual, as each person has their own will to follow whatever religion they want and do as they please. That's their perogative and none of my business. Well, the story changed when my dad called me Friday and told me the reservation had been pushed back to 1pm because my cousin has to have his kids to their mom by 3:30. My dad THEN asked me to get off work early so I could join them. Am I out of line to say that this was disrespectful? It's one thing to get out an hour early in the restaurant/office setting, and a completely different situation when you work in broadcasting. I can't just GET OUT early, as if I only have a certain amount of work to do before I'm allowed to leave. I'm forced to make sure shit doesn't blow up and stations don't go off the air. If they do for any amount of time, it could cost me my job. So still, am I out of line? So i said "No I can't just leave an hour early" and went on to explain why it's different for me than it is for him. And then he said "I didn't even know you worked on Sundays." I work EVERY Sunday, and I have worked every Sunday for about a year now. I usually talk to him on Sundays and I always tell him that I just got off work. WHERE THE HELL HAS HE BEEN? So he made a big deal out of it and told me that he would at least like to see me on Easter because it was such an important day to him. I told him that I could see him on any other day and it would be just as special as the last (and BTW- i thought this would be a touching addition.. it apparently was not). A holiday doesn't make seeing someone any more special. Well, he disagreed, and insisted on me at least stopping by to see him. Fine. OUT OF RESPECT FOR HIM, I will go see him. Why does a child have to show so much more respect for her parent when she doesn't come CLOSE to recieving the same amount in return? Where is the fairness in all of this? Shouldn't HE respect MY beliefs and accept that I don't have a particular reason to see him on the day celebrating the resurrection of his savior? Then he asked if I would be doing anything with Joey's family and I said "yes" as if he should have figured that much as well. See, my dad has a hard time believing that anyone has a life outside of his own. This may help you understand why this is difficult for me. Then he mentioned that my mom's family is getting together, but since I'm working he'll go ahead and tell them I won't be able to make it. LIE. I WILL be able to make it there and I never gave any indication that I couldn't. But denying HIS family get-together at a specified time ultimately translated into not being able to do anything with either side all day. Here is a perfect situation where I wish my mom was still alive... she would tell me that my dad is crazy and this is why she divorced him (man i loved my mom.. always had the right thing to say). She would also say that she would like me to join them, but would probably understand if I couldn't make it. Man I miss her.. But my mom's death aside, my dad pissed me off once again and I have to play nice all day in front of three different family settings. I hate the holidays.

Oh, and I found on Wiki how the Easter Egg thing came about. Before I typed any of this, I was fuming and needed more of an excuse to bad-mouth this commercialized day. Well, I lost some steam on the way and I'm not so angered by it anymore, but I'm sure a lot of people don't really know where the egg things came from. Well, according to Wikipedia "Traditionally, Easter eggs, hard-boiled eggs dyed bright red to symbolize the spilt Blood of Christ and the promise of eternal life, are cracked together to celebrate the opening of the Tomb of Christ." Now this makes sense, but where did the bunny come in? That I couldn't find, and it will remain a mystery to even the most devout Catholics. Try and solve that one, dad.