facing my harsh reality

I don't know what to do and I'm about to pull my hair out.

My boyfriend (Joey) and I have lived together for about a year now, and have been together for two. I love him more than anything and would be absolutely devastated if we broke up.

He held a full-time job at a local company for a year and on January 5th they let him go on a very poorly supported claim. Beside the point that they fired him unjustly, the company is now failing and are downsizing in large numbers. His sister got him the job and she has worked there for (I think) about 3 years. Even she is looking for a new job because the company is just so shitty.

So Joey was fired in January and has been living off of unemployment since. He has been tirelessly looking for every job under the sun and nobody will hire him. We re-wrote him resume. He has been on about a dozen different interviews driving him hundreds of miles between Columbus and Cincinnati. He has applied for jobs he is both qualified and underqualified for, and is now applying for jobs any sixteen year-old could get. He has gotten several hair-cuts and is absolutely handsome all the time. He has been told over and over "You most likely have the job, we'll call you next week." And they never call. He went to places with "Now Hiring" signs, filled out applications, turned them in, and called days later only to be told that they are not hiring. He went to places with "Now Hiring" signs, filled out/turned in the application, called them only to be told that they haven't looked at his application and will call him-- And then don't. He has given his resume to temp agencies only to be told that they have nothing for him. I have spent entire shifts at work looking for jobs online that he would be qualified for. I have brought home (from work) the Sunday classifieds almost on a weekly basis. We have talked to friends and family members only to hear the same things over and over and over again.

We have been doing this for over eight months and we're tired and frustrated. Our lease is up on Halloween, and we have the option of renewing the lease at a higher monthly rate than what we have been paying. We cannot afford to stay where we are, but we can't sign a new lease somewhere else because he doesn't have a job.

A new problem sprang up two days ago when unemployment stopped coming. He only received HALF the amount he has been getting, and there was no warning that his funds would be exhausted. They gave him an ending date of January 29th, 2009, but last time I checked August '08 is WAAAY before January '09.

Our only options are as follows:

1. Assuming he will be employed by the end of September, we can just wait patiently until then and move somewhere a little more affordable.

2. Assuming he doesn't get a job by the end of September, I will have to look for a place of my own, and he will have to move back in with his parents- an hour away.

It kills me. I don't want these to be our only options, but I am not about to financially support someone who is not my spouse or my child. It just is not an option for me. I am barely making it on my own and the last thing I need is to pay for someone else. And he knows this. I just don't know what to do and it's eating away at my every nerve. I am running out of patience and am already starting to feel the heartbreak of moving away from him.

On top of all of this, the local/state economy is falling dramatically. The housing market is death. The credit card crisis has devalued our dollar. Car factories, their part suppliers, distribution plants, and other major retailers are closing. Due to these losses, the demand for jobs has drastically increased as the jobs available has drastically decreased. The only jobs listed in the newspaper and online are either sales, nursing, or skilled labor, and tech-schools are injecting their "hey come spend money you don't have to learn a new skill you don't want" ads in there, too.

I would just say that we should relocate, but we don't have the money to do so and where would we go? We can't just up and leave without any stability, and yet so much can change in just a month and a half.

I'm on the edge. I'm gaining weight. I'm losing sleep. I'm losing my patience.

just what I was looking for

I sent an email to my dad about issues I want to work out with him. Although I know how impersonal emails can be, I just felt that I could better express what I wanted to without letting anger get in the way. The jist of it stated how he's not helping me the way he should be, and it's hurting our relationship. I am currently looking for full-time jobs all around the country for a couple of reasons. Not only is the job market in the local economy bad, but also for the rest of the state. The GM Moraine truck/SUV plant got rid of the 2nd shift, and will be closing before 2010. Many auto-part industries also based out of the region are struggling as well, due to their reliance upon the GM plant. The DHL distribution center in Wilmington will also be closing, giving much of their routes and clients to United Parcel and ASTAR. The media markets are also changing, as Clear Channel has been bought by a private company and CBS radio is selling off 55 of their stations around the country. I want to stay within the Cox-Radio group, but there are limited opportunites and I have no other option but to move away. My dad was not letting go of me and trying to get me to stay here for his own sake. I told him he was being selfish, and it was unfair that he would expect me to stay here because of him. I also told him that in addition to supporting my interest, he needs to start supporting his own. He is just getting used to being home alone all the time, and he's kind-of scratching to get out and explore his life again. Of course there are certain barriers he has to get through first, most importantly he has to establish better future financial stability.

It has taken me a while to compile all of my thoughts about these issues, and I have been hesitant to seriously talk my dad about them in fear that we will just make matters worse, like in the past. The email I sent him was honest and empathetic, and he actually told me he read it several times to fully understand what I was feeling.

We had dinner last night and I think things are going to be ok from now on. Though I have tended to combat everything my dad brings up in coversation and we haven't gotten along for half of my life, it has always been important to me that he give me his blessing. He's my dad, and nothing can change that. I don't think there's anything more empowering than your parents telling you to follow your dreams, and be happy when saying it. Well, he gave me his blessing, encouraged me to follow my dreams, and he was happy while saying it. It showed me that he meant it, and didn't just say it because he knew that's what I wanted to hear. I thanked him. I thanked him profusely, telling him that that's what I needed to hear for 10 years. I just wanted him to be OK with me being out in the big, big world all by myself. And he is. And I love him for it.

I told him that my entire college education as a communications major was based on the fact that he and I for some reason could not break our communication barriers, and I aimed only to figure out why. And I did. In doing so, I earned a college degree and I think my "daddy" issues will finally begin to dissipate.

I could not be happier right now.

I think my mom would be proud.