just what I was looking for

I sent an email to my dad about issues I want to work out with him. Although I know how impersonal emails can be, I just felt that I could better express what I wanted to without letting anger get in the way. The jist of it stated how he's not helping me the way he should be, and it's hurting our relationship. I am currently looking for full-time jobs all around the country for a couple of reasons. Not only is the job market in the local economy bad, but also for the rest of the state. The GM Moraine truck/SUV plant got rid of the 2nd shift, and will be closing before 2010. Many auto-part industries also based out of the region are struggling as well, due to their reliance upon the GM plant. The DHL distribution center in Wilmington will also be closing, giving much of their routes and clients to United Parcel and ASTAR. The media markets are also changing, as Clear Channel has been bought by a private company and CBS radio is selling off 55 of their stations around the country. I want to stay within the Cox-Radio group, but there are limited opportunites and I have no other option but to move away. My dad was not letting go of me and trying to get me to stay here for his own sake. I told him he was being selfish, and it was unfair that he would expect me to stay here because of him. I also told him that in addition to supporting my interest, he needs to start supporting his own. He is just getting used to being home alone all the time, and he's kind-of scratching to get out and explore his life again. Of course there are certain barriers he has to get through first, most importantly he has to establish better future financial stability.

It has taken me a while to compile all of my thoughts about these issues, and I have been hesitant to seriously talk my dad about them in fear that we will just make matters worse, like in the past. The email I sent him was honest and empathetic, and he actually told me he read it several times to fully understand what I was feeling.

We had dinner last night and I think things are going to be ok from now on. Though I have tended to combat everything my dad brings up in coversation and we haven't gotten along for half of my life, it has always been important to me that he give me his blessing. He's my dad, and nothing can change that. I don't think there's anything more empowering than your parents telling you to follow your dreams, and be happy when saying it. Well, he gave me his blessing, encouraged me to follow my dreams, and he was happy while saying it. It showed me that he meant it, and didn't just say it because he knew that's what I wanted to hear. I thanked him. I thanked him profusely, telling him that that's what I needed to hear for 10 years. I just wanted him to be OK with me being out in the big, big world all by myself. And he is. And I love him for it.

I told him that my entire college education as a communications major was based on the fact that he and I for some reason could not break our communication barriers, and I aimed only to figure out why. And I did. In doing so, I earned a college degree and I think my "daddy" issues will finally begin to dissipate.

I could not be happier right now.

I think my mom would be proud.